One thing you might not guess about my friends and I, is that we debate unicorns a fair bit. Okay, so maybe it’s just Slacker and myself, but it’s still a popular topic.
Are unicorns fluffy?
Not much debate there. It’s a known fact that obviously unicorns are fluffy. It’s a no brainer.
See? Fluffy Unicorn!!!
That is a photo of a real unicorn. That was obviously a lie. It’s actually a paint drawing that I tried really hard on. It’s not a real photograph of a unicorn because, duh, unicorns don’t exist. But I’m getting ahead of myself; let me introduce our second debate topic:
Do unicorns exist?
Katie: They used to, but now they’re all dead!
Obviously I’m right. Slacker doesn’t have any evidence, and I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking: And you do have evidence? Why yes, yes I do. Sort of. See, I read a poem that explained it all perfectly clearly. It was one of them by that one guy. You know who I’m talking about, the guy that wrote all the poems in the A Light in the Attic book? He also wrote Where the Sidewalk ends, and Runny Babbit.
It was actually Slacker that showed me the poem. It explained that when Noah built the ark, and God was telling him to gather two of each animal, God told Noah specifically not to forget the unicorns. The unicorns, see, they were having good fun hiding from Noah. The unicorns were smart creatures, and they outsmarted Noah. Unfortunately, they lack common sense. Noah’s ark sailed away without them, and they all died.
Despite all this evidence, Slacker still insists that unicorns still exist today. They don’t have gills, so they are DEAD. End of story. Bye, bye. See ya later.
Please tell me whose side you believe in. Are you a fool that ignores the logic and believes that unicorns exist? Or have you done your research and accepted the truth?