Honestly, I’m really sorry for not posting yesterday. No, that’s was a mega lie. I’m not sorry for not posting yesterday because I have an excuse. A really good excuse. After school I had archery (yes, bows and arrows), and when I got home I took a nap because I wasn’t feeling too hot. Then I ate dinner and had ten minutes to come up with a blog post before dance. I started this one, but I didn’t finish. I saved it as a draft. What about after dance? 8:3o: Got home from dance, Dad was on the computer. 9:00: Waiting for dad to get off the computer. 10:00: Stuffing myself with Crispix and waiting for Dad to get off the computer. 10:30: Tired of waiting; I go to bed. 11:00: I fall asleep. Honestly, I really wanted my dad to get off the computer! NOT A LIE! So here’s what I wrote yesterday:
I don’t feel good today. In fact, I’m feeling awful. On top of that, I’m busy today. Today is the worst day ever. I didn’t want to post earlier today, but even though I’m not participating in post-a-day I want to post everyday. So I chose a topic that I can write as much as I want about. Plus, If my writing is a crappy as I feel, I can just trash the post.
Writer’s block. Have I struggled with it? Yes. Do I struggle with it often? No. I’ve had two major cases of writer’s block: back in the fall (Battle Camp: The Enemy) and right at this moment [A Game of Secrets (it’s a title in progress)]. The one in the fall was enormously worse than the one I’m experiencing with now. I knew exactly what I wanted to say, but I couldn’t write it. No matter how hard I tried, the words wouldn’t come, and I was left with a black iPod screen. Yes, I wrote books on my iPod Touch. Three, to be exact.
Right now, I know vaguely what I want to say, and I know how to start it. I just don’t want to write. I do, but I don’t . I feel like if I write, I will succeed, and that scares me. I think I’m about half way into the plot, and if I write a word more I will be committed to finished it. Committment scares me. Success scares me. I guess I just don’t like things to be set in stone, and I like to be in control. What if I don’t want to succeed? What then? If I write on will I be able to stop that? And what if I hate my writing and I don’t want to finish? Can I stop that? Or is it a snowball, rolling down a hill and gaining momentum? And what happens when the snowball comes to the end of the hill? Does it just stop rolling? If it does, does that mean failure? But what if it keeps rolling? Is that success? Or is it going to crash into me and blow up in my face?
Sorry about the extended snowball metaphor. Like I said, I’m feeling awful today.
That’s what I wrote yesterday. I’m probably going to write another post today because I wrote most of this yesterday. Peace out!:)