Hello everyone and welcome to my 99th post! Grab a bean bag and sit down. Just relax and try some of the Sunset Drink. Don’t be shy! Hopefully you all know why your here. This is my 99th post, a great accomplishment for me! Although most bloggers reached this number a while back, I am happy to be reaching it now. To start off the festivities, I have a contest winner! This person was the 150th commenter on my blog! Who could it be? Drumroll please…. leighlights! Congratulations, leighlights! You were the 150th commenter, and therefore you receive a wish. I will do everything (as much as I possibly can!) to grant you this wish. So, wish away! What’ll it be? I guest post on your blog? You guest post on mine? A drawing? A painting? A poem? A piece of writing? The possibilities are endless!
According to my How am I doing? page, a lot of you wanted guest posts, so Slacker wrote one for me. Isn’t she so nice? I hope you enjoy what she has written! Here it is:
The Many Failures and Unaccomplishments of One Girl Named Kathryn:
For the second part of our dear Katie’s 100th post, I have been asked to write. It seems that many guest writers for 100th posts talk about how great the blogger is. But you see, our friend ktlemonhead, while having many (boring) accomplishments, has many more interesting failures.
For instance, Kathryn is a terrible bike rider. It must be said that she is awful at biking. A few weeks ago, we went for a bike ride and she kept complaining the whole way there about how I was torturing her. Speaking of that bike ride, Katie has yet another fail. She is terrified of Fur’s adorable kitty, Lily. I found this out when we biked to Fur’s house, and Katie kept running away from the kitty when it went near her. In her defense, that cat does bite, but it was hilarious to watch.
One of Katie’s unaccomplishments is her obliviousness to some of the most obvious things. My favorite example of this is last year’s 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th hour. This one kid had (or still has) a crush on dear Kathryn. He would try to talk to her and she would start talking to me and he had this kind of heartbroken look on his face when she ignored him. It was hilarious. It was amusing me for the entire year and Katie never did catch on.
These next two are debatable if they count as a failure, but whatever: Katie thinks Jake Gyllenhaal and the guy who plays Draco Malfoy in the Harry potter movies are both unattractive. This not only proves she is a failure in life, but she has bad taste. Who does she think is cute? No idea!
So as you can see, Katie is a horribly unaccomplished failure of a person; also, she cannot draw the Hogwarts crest or slice a mango properly.
Wasn’t that sweet of her? Gosh, I just love Slacker! Thank you so much, Slacker! I find it funny that you mentioned my fear of the evil Lilly Mittens because… Well, you’ll see in my 100th post! Another thing my How am I doing? page told me was that you wanted more of my writing. I’m hardly confident enough to show you any of my writing, but I did find one thing. It was something I wrote in fifth grade, and while most people cringe and what they wrote at that age, I thought what I wrote was quite clever. Of course I did some editing, but I didn’t touch the story otherwise. It is a masterpiece. I also drew pictures! Keep in mind that I drew them in fifth grade, and I didn’t have much time to do so.
Callie’s Amazing Adventure
Once there was a young girl named Callie. Callie was a little girl, only in 2nd grade. Callie felt that she needed a cat, but she didn’t know quite why. She just knew. Callie decided to go on an adventure to find the cat- she loved adventures! Before she could leave she needed to pack her bag. She packed her bed, her favorite trampoline, her toothbrush to keep her parents happy, and her jar of pickles.
Callie set off on her journey. She walked down 92nd street into the deep, dark, dangerous forest. It seemed like the best place to start an adventure. Suddenly, the ground turned into a pool full of cherries and olives! Callie didn’t expect this! She reached into her bag and pulled out her trampoline.
Callie set her trampoline on the last remaining scrap of ground and bounced off. She grabbed the rim of the trampoline as she flew away. As she was flying through the air, she folded up her trampoline and set it neatly in her bag. Callie landed in the deepest and darkest part of the forest so she barely noticed the hundreds of snow tigers flying on eagles right in front of her! She stopped mid-step and pulled her bed out of her bag.
Now, being in second grade, she still believed there were monsters under her bed. She reached under her bed calling, “Monster… here monster,” Then her hand touched something slimy. Holding her breath against the horrible smell she helped the monster out from under her bed. The monster automatically turned against the white tigers and defeated them easily. Then the monster and Callie became the best of friends!
Callie had to keep walking so she put the monster and the bed back in her bag. Walking along, she came to a clearing in the forest. She decided to rest for the night, but instead cattle dogs (confused from starvation) appeared out of nowhere!
Callie reached into her bag for her pickles and her toothbrush. Quickly, she brushed her teeth with some of the pickle juice and took a deep breath. She lets it out with a “Whoosh!” and all of the confused cattle dogs scampered away into the trees, leaving Callie in peace for a good nights sleep.
Callie got up very early the next morning to continue on her journey for a cat. She walked out of the little clearing feeling confident, but as soon as she stepped under the cover of trees it was pitch black. Callie looked back toward the clearing, but she couldn’t tell which way the clearing was. Then suddenly, the path was lit. Callie looked to the light and screamed! It was a giant monster one hundred times scarier than the one under her bed. Its eyes were glowing with hunger!