State Fair


I went to the state fair yesterday.  I’ve only been there two other times.  Once last year, and once the year before.  Most people think this is sad because they go every year.  It is sad.  I love the state fair.  The state fair ends today, so I barely got to go.  But I did get to go, so I am quite content. 

We went to the state fair and spent about an hour looking at snow blowers.  Why do they have snow blowers for sale at the state fair?  It’s summer!  You might say that.  In fact, I’m pretty sure you’re thinking that.  I’ve got news for you.  It’s not summer, it’s autumn.  It doesn’t have to be September 21st for it to be autumn.  It was 50 degrees yesterday.  50 is fall, not summer.  There were snow blowers for sale at the fair because Minnesota has four seasons:

Almost Winter
Winter
Still Winter
And Road Construction

So we use snow blowers a lot.  Or, we should.  I grew up shovelling snow (when I wasn’t coming up with excuses to not shovel the snow), so I am skeptical about the whole snow blower thing.  Not.  I think it’s a marvelous idea and that my dear old dad should buy one straight away.  Please. 

After looking at machines we ate some crab balls.  They were yummy.  Then we got root beer at an amazing root beer place.  We got a jumbo, so we could share.  Not a good idea if you get stuck carrying it around.  We decided to go to the dairy building.  It wasn’t just dairy.  It had all kind of power tools in it too.  In the back it was all the dairy you could ask for, though.  There were milkshakes and sundaes, but there were also butter sculptures.  I thought that was cool.  I mean, who wouldn’t want to sculpt faces out of butter? 

We looked briefly around the education building and entered a contest for an iPad 2.  We also entered a contest for a cooking pan, a Panini maker, and an alpaca teddy bear.  I really want that teddy bear.  An iPad 2 would also be nice.  The food building was next.  When you come out of there, you are coated with grease.  I wanted to get cheese curds, but the line was unbelievably long, so we skipped them.  Now, I don’t know about other state fairs, but in Minnesota everything is on a stick.  I got spaghetti and meatballs on a stick.  I’ve had better, but it was fun eating it on a stick.  It was also deep-fried.  Everything is deep-fried.  They deep fry candy bars, Twinkies, pickles, and other unimaginable things.  I can’t stand the smell of deep-fried things, but I had to deal with it. 

Then there were the animal barns.  Cows, horses, sheep, pigs, chickens, turkeys, and sometimes even rabbits.  They all smell bad.  We got to see some baby cows, sheep, pigs, and poultry.  All of the babies were cute as could be, but the moms weren’t even close.  I guess that’s life.  As a baby you have the evolutionary advantage of being adorable, but as you get older you get ugly and have to take care of yourself. 

I shall now dedicate a whole paragraph to one store at the state fair: Sweet Martha’s.  Going to Sweet Martha’s Cookie Jar has become a tradition to many Minnesotans. They make the most wonderful chocolate chip cookies.  Unfortunately, just getting a bucket of them is an ordeal.  You have to wait in a line.  It’s actually not really a line, it’s a mob. 

This is an accurate picture of what it looks like when you’re in line.  But it’s worth it. 

This is what you get when you cough up 15 dollars and get a bucket of cookies.  Just to fit the lid on the bucket you have to eat a bunch of cookies!  The only let down is that they aren’t as good when they cool down.  They’re still worth eating, but not quite as mouth-watering. 

Defeat Demotivator

Leeroy Jenkins,

Katie Lemontop

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